How is Your Relationship with Time

Pregnancy is a lesson in patience.

A woman needs patience to cope with the anticipation of what is to come. It starts with waiting the three minutes for the pregnancy test, runs through the nine months of pregnancy and the first labor pain, to the long awaited delivery.

 Nature has its own standard for time – Everything happens when the time is right.

No one can change that.

In my case, my mother learned the lesson of patience far too well. I was due March 23rd. Like most expectant mothers, by the time that date came, my mother was done with patience. She wanted me out. But I refused to come.

So, she waited a week, then another, and still another. Finally, I decided to make an appearance, on April 21st, one month after I was supposed to arrive.

Time and I were not off to a good start.

Throughout my childhood, I was constantly late. I’ve always been a bit of a magpie, distracted by shiny objects. And to a kid, the world is full of shiny objects. In the spring, if there was some leftover ice on a puddle, I’d have to crack it. In the summer, it was just too hot to move quickly. In the fall, leaves called my name, asking to be gathered up and jumped in. And as for winter, well, growing up in on the Canadian east coast there was never a shortage of snowy hills to slide down, usually two more times than time allowed for.

My younger siblings learned to be on time from my example of lateness.

I was always getting into trouble. My late entry into the world stayed with me in everything I did. My sister saw that trouble and decided to avoid it. I of course never noticed her punctuality because I always arrived after she did.

I never meant to be late. I always had a reason and to me they were very good reasons, even if the reason was simple procrastination.

Time just wasn’t important to me.

I had more important things to worry about.

By the time I reached university, being late meant nothing to me. Perpetual tardiness was my natural state. Even for exams. In my second year of university, I woke up feeling the sun on my face. Now normally this is a good thing and should be enjoyed, slowly. But this time, the sun on my face told me that I was late. Again. To be specific, I was late for my French exam which had started twenty minutes previously.

I panicked, of course, but I was resourceful. After all, I’d spent my whole life being late.

I knew what to do. I’d take a taxi to my exam. But I only had one dollar to my name. Still no problem. I called the taxi company and pleaded my case. I was the poor student who had studied so hard I missed my alarm (I doubt I had even set it), and even though I had no money, would someone take pity on me and drive me to my exam as soon as possible?

Someone did, a man who had a daughter away at university and who hoped that someone would do the same for her if she was in a similar fix.

I got to my exam, told the story of my lateness and taxi ride to my instructor (in French as the oral part of the exam), and he was so entranced by it that he allowed me to do the written part of the exam several hours late.

My perpetual lateness made great stories.

I was proud of my lateness. It was a part of me. I even chose a husband who wasn’t punctual. Instead of being late at birth he was early, by a month. Between the two of us we had no idea what time it was.

For our wedding we got four clocks as presents and we earned the nickname of “The Tardy Twins.”

We thought it was funny. It was a game.

How could we manipulate time to fit in one more activity?

How could we use Time to avoid getting things done?

How could we manipulate Time to not be responsible for our decisions?

By being late we didn’t respect others and  we didn’t respect ourselves.

Of course, at some point it had to come crashing down. For me, it happened the way it happens for many people, especially women. I couldn’t say no. I kept on adding responsibilities, at work, at home, and in the community. I thought I could handle it. I thought time was infinitely stretchable. I could always squeeze in one more thing.

Then time snapped back and my life cracked.

I took sick leave from work and never returned. I decided to stay home with my children. I started to say no, and I started to get to know time better, to feel it rather than count it.

I also have three amazing children, one of which has high functioning autism (Asperger Syndrome, also known as “wrong planet syndrome”). Social skills aren’t innate for him. He has had to learn them all by rote. I couldn’t afford to teach him how to play tricks with time. He wouldn’t see it as a game. He would take it seriously, and that wasn’t funny.

I took responsibility for my actions, and went from never being on time for anything and always rushed to being a minute or two early for every activity and more productive than ever.

I did this by figuring out what I wanted and getting rid of the rest.

I learned to manage the events in my life, not the minutes in the hour.

Just in Time Life

And I started to look at the desired results and work backwards from them to the present moment.

In other words, I created a Just In Time Life for myself.

If I could do that, the woman who was late from within the womb, then anyone can….

This is the opening page of  ’Just in Time Life‘ a book that would not have happened without  Alex Fayle my very organized writing coach and friend.

To finish this book I am looking for stories about Time and the crazy relationships we have with our time. If you would like to contribute to this book and share some insights, wisdom and your own funny Time stories please leave a note here and I will forward the details to you.    

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Real Women Making a Difference

How would you answer the question…. Women who MAKE A difference

What do you make?

This was the question asked by Eliza Fayle of Silver & Grace to an amazing  group of Fun, Sexy, Intelligent, Real Women.

You can read all the amazing answers to that question in this Free Download

*Spoiler alert…I shared my own answer about “What do I make?”

I am sure it will inspire you to want to answer this question yourself….so please do share your one sentence version of… What do you make?

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Preparing the Cottage for Summer Bliss

Open up the sashes and get the Cottage ready for Summer!

Some call it a camp, for others it is a cottage and if you are lucky enough it is the summer home.

We are the third generation, to own our little piece of heaven; we call ours “The Cabin”. By today’s standards it would be a camp…three rooms, enough beds to sleep 6 and minimal stuff.

It might not be much but it is our little piece of Heaven!

To us it is Shangri-la!

No matter what you call this home away from home, the seasonal ritual to open up the summer residence usually lands around the May long weekend and for as many years as I can remember that is what we have done…the camp is actually on the same piece of land that my parents and grandparents enjoyed their camping years.

After many months of being closed up these steps will get you ready for many months of relaxation and family fun.

Open it up:

Take notice of any odors like mildew or mold. Especially if you family with allergies. Use fresh coffee grounds to eliminate stale odors.

Where do the flies come from? There are too many to count but you will want to clean them up before they wake up.

Notice any mouse droppings, get out the disinfecting wipes and clean up the poo. Also look for any spots that the little critters can come back through. You can fill them with steel wool or crack filer.

Give the whole place a good old ‘Clean and Scrub’…it will probably be the only time you do it all season ?

Hang out the bedding and air out the mattresses.

Clean all the dishes and cupboard items…if you do have mice they have probably been all over them.

Make adjustments:

This is the time to deal with any irritants from the previous season.

• A doorway that was inconvenient.
• Beds in wrong place, kids getting stepped on.
• Getting a larger fridge or a second one if you have a lot of company.
• On outdoor shower for the kids, you can do this with a simple rain barrel and a shower head.
• A portable toilet for evening use.

Safety issues:

Install a smoke detector and a carbon monoxide detector and have a small fire extinguisher. If you already have these then change the batteries and test the fire extinguisher.

De clutter:

Most summer homes are shy of storage so use what you have efficiently. Get rid of anything you did not use last year, like…
• Coffee bean grinder
• Margarita glasses
• Excess coffee mugs
• Shelving that takes up more space than you have

Make a list of things you did not get to do last year;

Survey the family and make a list of all the fun things that you wanted to do last year but did not get around to doing. Here are a few things we have been talking about and this is the year that we are going to do it.
• Walk to the store- 6 km
• Bike to the store
• Bonfire on the beach
• Plant a small garden

What we love about the lake:

Family swim day with the extended family, canoeing, the weather, sounds of loons in the cove at bedtime, sleeping in the tent, playing in the pool. Catching fire flies, watching old movies we buy at yard sales, going to bingo on Friday night at the legion, eating outside, sleeping in, playing cards and games on rainy days…taking afternoon siestas.

Summers are short so make the most of a weekend and get the summer home ready for a few months of Bliss!

 

 

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Countdown to an Amazing Garage Sale

A garage sale can be a great way to recycle your unwanted items and make some cash just in time for summer vacation.

The success of the sale depends on many factors and to make the time and effort of having a garage sale worthwhile you will want to follow some tried and true garage sale tips.

Here is a countdown that you can use to elevate your Garage Sale from drive-by to a MUST SEE…

The month before the sale;

Make sure you have enough items. If you don`t have enough on your own then invite neighbours and friends to participate.Once you have determined that you have enough items set a date. Give yourself a couple of weeks to gather all the sale items into one spot.

Two weeks before the sale:

Post your ads for the sale at several high traffic locations. Your local drug store and community centre are a few suggestions.

The week of the sale:

Make sure you place a newspaper ad that will appear the day before and the day of the sale. You usually need to book the ad a few days ahead so planning is necessary. The ad needs to contain the address, date of the sale, and a summary list of the big ticket items.
If you have a garage for the sale, set up the tables and start setting up the items and pricing them ahead of time. If you don’t have a garage get the items priced and boxed for easy set up on the big day.

Make it easy for people to shop at your garage sale.

Clearly mark the prices on the items. People like to know what the prices are without having to ask.

Group similar items together like clothing/books/dishes and have a price list above or near the items for quick reference

The day before the sale:

Make sure you have a money float with loonies, toonies and fives and put these in a money belt of some sort.
Place signs on the road the morning before the sale to get the Friday rush hour traffic; this is a great advertising strategy.

The Day of the sale:

Be ready at the time specified.

As thing sell rearrange the tables to make them look full and keep moving the stuff to the front of the area. This will help to ward off drive bys.

Additional Tips:

Feel free to dicker over prices if you want to, it is all about the fun of the sale.
Never leave your cash box unattended.
Place especially valuable items close to where you will be sitting so that you can keep an eye on them.

How to Deal with early birds…

If you are lucky enough you will get a few early birds on Friday…yes let them in and let them BUY…this is a garage SALE not a garage show

You can organize a successful Garage Sale when you have the right plan of action.

Garage Sale season has officially started…now go and …Organize, Advertise and SELL!

 

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Organizing and Decluttering Your Vehicle

Recently we passed by a guy that had so much stuff on his dash that it looked like the top of someone’s messy desk.

We all said at the same time “what was that” and laughed?

A vehicle really is more than a means of local transportation. 

• It is a taxi for busy children
• It is a mobile office
• It is a means of travel
• It is a place to sleep!

With all the warm weather last week we did the Semi Annual cleaning of the vehicle.

Thinking that the car was pretty clean….not. The rotting food under the seats and fuzzy apple cores (we think) would make you think of a dumpster. Are we in our vehicles so much that we don’t even see the mess?

From a functional perspective, what happened to garbage holders in vehicle?

Most vehicles have a high tech GPS system, cup holders galore, a console for music storage and every gadget imaginable, except a spot for the garbage.

The local taxi service as my mom calls it is usually running steady Mon-Fri from September to the end of May. We never really think about this until Grandma who has been babysitting for a week mentions the volume of driving that happens in a week. It is not just the driving it is the sitting and waiting…which is OK if the people waiting are happy.

For all the taxi moms here are some tips for the vehicle :

• Have a variety of entertainment in the vehicle; music, books, DVD’s, car games.
• Have food and water. It never fails as soon as we leave the house my youngest wants me to stop and get something to drink and a snack.
• Turn the vehicle off while you are waiting. It will save on your gas consumption…and with the current prices of gas this is a must do.

Is your Vehicle a Mobile Office?

Portable OfficeThe mobile office is definitely on the rise with contract employees and sales specialists who work on commissions.

Many people now have their whole office in their vehicle. For anyone who has to transport papers a portable office can be created quite easily and inexpensively with a square filing tote with dividers for papers and forms.

People in the insurance, mortgage and real estate business can benefit from this system. People who have samples love the rolling tool box on wheels. They are portable lightweight, and ergonomically correct.

The vehicle is a bedroom!

On occasion we have slept in a car. On our honeymoon on the way back from a late flight in from Boston.

My parents go camping often and dad has been known to opt out of the family camping fun by slipping into the van for the evening. Having a pillow and a blanket tucked in the trunk may come in handy; you never know when you may have to use them.

A necessary tool for any vehicle.

The best car gadget ever which we call the “marriage saver” is our GPS.

After our harrowing trip from LA to San Diego with 9 maps and a near divorce we purchased our coveted GPS. We made it from Reno to Las Vegas to Phoenix without a single map. This gadget speaks to you in a loving tone when it is time to take an exit. It is lightweight and you do not have to plead with it to get the directions.

When we were kids we had a midsized car for Mom and Dad and the three of us plus one large dog. The trips were memorable! A frothy hyper dog, three kids fighting and no AC or DVD players.

How did we survive?

Happy Spring and Happy Travels!

 

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Go Easy on Me I am Still Growing

Have you had one of those eye opening AHA moments lately

One where you thought…well you though that you knew something but really you did not! Friends supporting each other

My girlfriend is very health conscious and can lose weight quite easily.

I have a very organized way of being, and clearing out things that I no longer need comes easily for me.

Here comes the aha…

In the midst of our conversation we both realized that we could not make the other person BE more organized or more health conscious.

What we did not need was another angle on how to make it easier for us…what we did need was support in a loving way that was free of judgement.

A big Thanks to this friend who taught me a valuable lesson.

Here is the AHA, I can’t fix people…they are not broken.

What I can do is love people, be supportive and when asked I can share wisdom.

Today…be gentle and please. Go easy with me, I am still Growing!

 

 

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Obstacles Happen all the Time

It’s all about how you handle them

Obstacles…you start the day and they show up.

Enjoy this video from a recent keynote that I did for International Womens day 2012.

Some questions to ponder?

What would you do today if you could get past that ONE obstacle that you feel is holding you back? Perceived or real.

What would your life look like, feel like, sound like, taste like?

Imagine what your LIFE could be like on the other side of that Obstacle.

Watch the Video now!

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Dig in Declutter and Let go

Timing is critical when decluttering and the internal motivation to let go must be present.

Well, there has been a great deal of growing with my clients over the past few months.

Perhaps you have been feeling disconnected in many parts of your life and it is time for you to declutter. Letting go
There are many aspects of your life besides the physical clutter that may be in need of some decluttering, let’s start with the obvious.

Declutter Your home

We all live somewhere, and that somewhere is either your haven or a place that you tolerate. If you are feeling the latter then ask yourself why.

Perhaps the home does not suit your situation any longer. If the kids are gone and the big house seems too empty perhaps it is time to downsize to a smaller more manageable home. Maybe the things in the home no longer bring you joy, or perhaps the things never brought you joy and you are just realizing it now.

Your clutter could be someone else’s survival…the things you don’t use could be something that someone really needs.

As you declutter your home you will feel more energy in your space.

Declutter Your Schedule

Do you feel like your time is not your own?

Well maybe it isn’t!

TIME, it is something that we can’t ever get back yet people are so free to give it away without realizing its value.  Look at who you are spending time with, what activities you are engaging in and how you are spending your FREE time. If these activities that are filling your week are not joyful, growth supporting activities then you need to ask yourself why you are doing them.

Declutter Your Relationships

This is what is referred to as weeding the garden of life.

The weeds can be pretty, as pretty as the flowers, they can also make the garden look nice. However they tend to choke out the plants that are around them as they overtake everything. Manipulating the garden to suit their needs. So as much as you may hate to pull the pretty weeds, you have to. Now that they are gone the other plants have room to breathe and grow, there is space for other plant possibilities and a few garden decorations. Yes the process is painful and you may get few thorns in the process but the result will be  beautiful.

So think of the garden and weeding as you look at the people in your life. It will be painful, it will take some time but when you are finished you will have a beautiful garden of people in your life that exist in a mutually supportive and life giving way.

Nothing new can come in to your life until you let go of the old.

Perhaps it is time for you to DECLUTTER and let go!

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Discover Yourself and Find the Hidden Positive Spirituality in Your Life

Today I have a treat for you, a guest post from my friend Anita Fiander

Do you ever feel lost, with no idea where your life is headed?

Do you wish you could find a sense of direction, meaning and purpose for your life? Womens Leadership Anita Fiander

Thankfully, you can discover the passion inside of you and experience the truly fulfilling life you were born to live.

To truly experience this rich, fulfilling life, you must become familiar with the dreams and aspirations that lie deep within your heart. For some, these values and hopes have been buried underneath a life of obligation, stress, and worry. Today, you can begin to chart a new path by embracing the hidden positive spirituality within yourself.

Try these tips when you’re ready to take your life to the next level:

1. Make time for yourself.

In as little as a few minutes each day, you can revitalize your mood and energy level. Simply take a few minutes today to pamper yourself. If you lack the time, remember that you must feel energized before you have the energy to give back to others.

  • Find simple pleasures that give you rest and make you smile. Relax in a warm bubble bath. Read a few pages of the book you’ve wanted to read for so long. Take time away from the craziness and pamper yourself. In as little as five or ten minutes, you’ll emerge from your “me” time with renewed vigor and a fresh perspective.

2. Try prayer, meditation, or yoga.

When you’re stressed, the skill of quieting your mind and hearing the still small voice inside of you is vital. Prayer and meditation takes you away from the world and into your inner sanctuary for a few brief moments. With practice, you can activate your sense of peace anywhere and in any stressful circumstance.

  • Similarly, yoga seeks to connect you with the spiritual part of who you are. Through body movements and exploration of the body/mind connection, you gain a greater sense of who you are and where you’re going.

3. Choose to see the good.

A healthy mind is the key to a happy life. Every situation offers a unique set of challenges and blessings. When you’re faced with a challenging situation, ask yourself, “What’s great about this?” Shift your focus to the blessings, and focus on finding solutions, instead of lamenting over the problems. When you do, you’ll find peace.

4. Take a vacation.

Sometimes, a change of perspective can only come from a change of scenery. A few days of relaxation or pursuing hobbies that you’re passionate about can invigorate your life and help you regain a positive perspective.

  • You can take an unforgettable vacation in as little as a few hours. Visit your city’s bureau of tourism for ideas on attractions that you may have missed right in your hometown. You may only have to travel a small distance for a memory that will last a lifetime and a perspective that fuels you toward the peace you deserve.

If you follow these tips, you’ll discover the hopes, dreams, and values that lie deep within you. Once you’ve discovered what matters most to you. You can orient your life in a way that brings meaning to you and those around you.

Anita FianderAnita Fiander is a Women’s Leadership and Empowerment Expert, Speaker, Trainer and Author.
People know her as The Definitive Resource for Women Leading with Feminine Greatness,
to flourish by being Consciously Authentic, and Real, Right Now!
You can connect with Anita at anitafiander.com

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How to use The Law of Attraction

To Attract More of What you want with Elaine Shannon and Michael Losier

Watch this one hour interview to see/hear the answers to 21 of your most pressing Law of Attraction questions: Law of Attraction book

See the Video below this list of questions.

  • What is the Law of Attraction?
  • How can I deliberately use the Law of Attraction to attract things into my life?
  • Do we all send vibes?
  • How to introduce Law of Attraction to your Teenager?
  • Can I use the Law of Attraction to sell a home?
  • How do I attract Ideal business relationships?
  • How do I attract the ideal Love relationship?
  • How to reset your vibration?
  • How does the word Want fit in with the Law of Attraction?
  • How do we mind our ‘Own vibration’?
  • How do I use the Law of Attractions to help me in school?
  • How can I tell what Vibe I am sending out?
  • How can we incorporate the Law of Attraction into our family?
  • How can I use the Law of Attraction to get my Ideal Job?
  • What is a Desire statement?
  • Do affirmations work?
  • How can I re-frame my vibe around a health issue?
  • What do you do when you are finding more positive than negative vibes?
  • How can you help others in a negative vibe get out of it?
  • How do I set up a vibrational bubble or boundary?
  • How can I get my daughter in a positive vibe around her debt?

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Michael Losier  lives in beautiful Victoria BC, and is a native Saint Johner (lived in Martinon)
He is the author of the best selling book,

Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don’t 

and

Law of Connection

Enjoying the international exposure the movie The Secret brought to the subject of Law of Attraction, Michael’s business flourished as many fans of The Secret wondered how to apply the Law of Attraction. Michael was quickly branded as the ‘How-to’ guy for the Law of Attraction.

Michael caught the attention of Oprah Winfrey and was subsequently interviewed four times on her radio show Oprah and Friends on XM radio.
Michael went on to host his own radio show on Oprah and Friends from Jan-Dec 2008.
Law of Attraction is published in 28 languages and a copy is selling every 4 minutes.

Michael runs an annual certification program – Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator Program.  He has certified 172 people in 11 countries.

Wake up with Michael Videos

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